Bleep

I overheard my 6-year-old tell my 9-year-old that he knew "shit" was a cause for concern. He said, "Max said s - h - i - t on the bus and that is a swear word." There was then a whispered conference about when and where swears happen, how kids could not say them but grown-ups could.

Although my husband and I do not swear in front of our children (okay -- there was the time I burnt my hand on the wood stove and the time Bush was announced the winner of the 2000 election), I really appreciate a good curse. Phrases are my favorite -- and almost always delivered with a dead-pan expression.

A recent favorite has been "Shit outta luck." I'm not sure what that even means literally, but the intent comes across perfectly, as in, "Those Yankees are shit outta luck this year."

I have always favored "I owe you dick," meaning I owe you nothing. "Dick" can also be thrown into other phrases to mean practically nothing, as in, "The Celtics score dick."

And then there is the old stand-by "Abso-fuckin-lutely." It can be used as an adverb ("We are abso-fuckin-lutely goin to Fenway") and as a exclamation ("Are the Sox gonna be in the play-offs this year?" "Abso-fuckin-lutley!").

My father used to tell us kids that ignorant people swore because they couldn't come up with the vocabulary to express themselves. This from the man whose mother swore in two languages. I believe when interjected at the right time and place, cursing is the spice of conversation.

Now come on -- don't be shy. Who has a favorite phrase they would like to share?