She's a Real Mother

Mutha's got eyes in the back of her head.

Monday, October 20, 2008

10 Reasons I'm Cheering for the Phillies

My red Sox did not make it to the World Series this year. A disappointment, but not a shock. I am 100% behind Philadelphia, and here's why:

1. The Phillie Phanatic. In the spirit of my last post about mascots, the Phanatic is really a stand-out. Rather than just mocking people, he can be downright socially unacceptable and sexually suggestive with that weird long party-blower tongue and the belly-bump/pelvic-trust move he has. Now that is family entertainment.

2. I was born in Camden, NJ -- right over the Ben Franklin Bridge from Philly.

3. Philadelphia Hot Soft Pretzels. I had a warm(ish) soft pretzel the other day in Cambridge and I am here to tell you it sucked. Philadephia has incredibly good pretzels -- and spicy mustard to go with them. I mean, it is in Pennsylvania -- pretzel homeland of these United States.

4. The Mummers. For those of you who do not know who the Mummers are, you have not lived until you see the drunken strut that is the Mummer's Parade. Picture Mardi Gras Vaudevillian Cross Dressing -- but with drinks.

5. They boo Santa at the end of the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Yes this is unnecessarily mean -- but even as a little kid, I found it funny.

6. Would be cheesesteaks if I ate meat. I'm told they are delicious, so if you are a meat-eater, go enjoy one in my place.

7. The Phillies have lost more games than any other franchise in baseball. With over 10,000 losses -- here is an honor you have to have been around a long time to reach. And you have to have really sucked a lot of years.

8. Tamp Bay Who? The Rays have not been around long enough to even have a history. I love my old time teams.

9. The Philadelphia fans are never afraid to boo their own players. If your family can't be honest with you -- who can?

10. The Phillies are not the Rays.

Let's go Phillies -- Beat 'em bad!


At 5:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I give the Phillies mad props just for not having one of those godawful domed stadiums. Plus, the Ray's mascot is seriously annoying. Why the hell don't they just have some big dude in a sting ray outfit? Instead, they have some vague furry thing, presumably originating from the underworld.

At 5:10 PM, Blogger Mutha said...

The underworld? Oooo that's creepy. I had no idea. All those furry things are Phanatic rip-offs any way. Except Wally -- who is clearly a muppet rip-off.

At 5:46 PM, Blogger Charleston Girl said...

Go's ya birthday...gonna party like.... it's ya birthday!!

At 10:17 PM, Blogger Doug said...

OK, I haven't made up my mind yet but I wish you happiness.


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