What Did You Watch After School?

Recently I heard someone younger than I referring to a messy personal situation as an "Afterschool Special." Now I knew what that meant to me -- but was surprised that someone in their 20's would. The ABC Afterschool Specials were a thing of the mid to late seventies, after all, programs for kids that tried to tackle some tough topics, such as runaways, divorce and even (gasp) substance abuse.

It got me to thinking: Are the Afterschool Specials of my childhood lurking out their on DVD, TV Land, etc? It made me want to revisit them and wonder aloud if anyone out there remembered these gems, had favorites, or had I made some of them up in my own mind?

By far the most memorable for me was My Mom's Having a Baby because it was the way I learned about such things. My mother, as the FDR-era Irish Catholic, wanted no conversation beyond a quick orientation to the menstrual cycle. So, she was thrilled. She found it in the TV Guide and planted me in front of the private TV in her and my Dad's bedroom. I felt as if I was being trusted with important knowledge that was simply too fantastic to be absorbed. But to be truthful, the single thing I remember the most about it was that the cartoon sperm wore a top hat, like Fred Astaire.

The Boy Who Drank Too Much was also a favorite because it featured Scott Baio as the abused, hockey-playing son of an alcoholic. Scary stuff, but all wrapped up in a reason to feel sorry for Chachi with the big brown eyes. I also couldn't believe my parents were letting me watch this naughtiness -- Scott stealing liquor from his old man and getting wasted! Cool!

As was the style at the time, one featured Jodi Foster (although I can't remember the plot) and another had a kid named Richie who got high in this little crawl space off his bedroom. This prompted my friends and I to smoke pot in a similar space when we were teen-agers, all giggling over the fact we had our own "Richie Room."

Not quite the outcome I think ABC was looking for.